


Heir Apparent

by Oparu



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-01
Updated: 2010-12-01
Packaged: 2017-10-13 11:37:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/136919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oparu/pseuds/Oparu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a personal log challenge. Beverly's POV. Existing relationship, post-Generations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heir Apparent

**Personal Log: Crusher, Doctor Beverly C.  
Stardate: 48927.1**

* * *

I don't know how to tell him. I run through the conversation in my head, trying to imagine just how it'll go, and even in my imagination I end up tongue tied. It's not bad news, and the pathetic thing is that I keep having to remind myself that it isn't bad news. It's incredible news and I can't picture Jean-Luc not being happy.

He will be happy.

What am I supposed to say? I'm sorry, we can try again. Maybe the next one will--

Now I start to sound melodramatic, and I can just picture him smiling at me and telling me it'll be all right. I'm not a queen about to be cast aside because I failed to give him an heir.

Failed to give him a _male_ heir.

Part of me wants to quip that it's his fault, really, his sperm decided to make this baby a girl. Does it really destroy the Picard legacy if it's carried on through a girl? No woman in my family was anything less than a Howard, no matter who she married. My father didn't mind changing his name. Of course, if my surname had been assigned to me through the Federation Bureau of Displaced Persons, I probably wouldn't have minded giving it up.

I shouldn't be afraid of telling him. He wants a child. Wants one badly enough that he talked me into it. Not that it took much. Wesley should have had a sibling. I think it might have made his whole childhood a little easier if someone understood what he was going through, if someone was on his side.

I can't really blame Jean-Luc, part of me is as bad as I'm making him out to be. My heart sank when I read the results of the genetic scan. Fifty-fifty chance, and she's perfectly healthy, that's what matters.

But she won't 'carry on the family name'. She's not an heir. She's _just_ a girl.

He can't think that. That can't be serious. If that's the way he feels about his child, he doesn't deserve to have her or me for that matter. I'm just a girl, and if he didn't like girls, he shouldn't have married me.

Yes, I've all ready become petty and spiteful. At least I can blame hormones for that.

I shouldn't even be worrying about this. He'll be ecstatic that I'm pregnant. The fact that our baby even has a gender won't probably cross his mind for the next week. He didn't believe me when I told him it wouldn't take long. the last time I tried to get pregnant, I think it took all of two days. I suppose it was our honeymoon, and we did make sure we had lots of practice…

I think if Jean-Luc and I had the time off work, we'd be equally enthusiastic. Something must have worked anyway, because here she is, and her mother needs to stop talking to herself and pacing and tell her father she exists.

Because he will love her, and she's every bit a Picard, so he won't be alone. Not that I'd let him be. Maybe next year we can talk about a sibling, or two. We're both still young enough. Not young, I don't know if we would have been right for each other while we were young, but young enough.

I wonder if Wesley's still on Dorvan V if I tried to write to him. I'd like him to know. I think he's wise enough to understand that I'm not replacing him or Jack. I just…well, I want to experience all the little parts of having a child again. Sticky fingers and late nights, spills and tumbles and baby hands pulling my hair.

Maybe I should cut it.

I can't stand it too much shorter than my shoulders. I'll just have to wear it up when I get there and I'll be there sooner than I think.

With Jean-Luc. I don't think I could possibly be happier that I'm doing all of this again with him. He'll be a great father, even for a girl…

He won't be disappointed. He could never be disappointed, but yet…I can't help feeling I've let him down. I went and conceived a girl when he needs a boy for the family name. As if I did it on purpose or there could possibly be any fault in the conception of a child.

That he'll adore.

[pause, chime of the door summons]

Computer, end log.


End file.
